I HATE YOU.

I don’t know why I had to have such an annoying sibling.

REASONS WHY I HATE ALLEN REALON

1. He’s rude.
He doesn’t know how to say please, sorry, and thank you. I’d like to point out that I compensate my verbal inability to say these common courtesies through non-verbal means. BUT THIS MONKEY? No. He’d rather be labeled uneducated than say excuse me.

2. He’s messy.
He never cleans up after himself. He has a señor complex. He expects everyone to pick up after him just because he was used to being let off the hook by none other than our mother.

3. He’s a braggart.
Every time he has new stuff, or has been somewhere far, or has gotten some award, HE BRAGS ABOUT IT LIKE IT’S THE BEST THING SINCE SLICED BREAD. He always assumes he’s superior and once you try to burst his bubble, he’ll bring up things that are totally humiliating yet entirely unrelated to the topic.

4. He’s a liar.
And Mommy actually believes him.

5. He’s bossy.
Whatever he wants, he gets. He orders everyone around and yells if he can’t get what he wants. And it doesn’t matter if I get hurt, or anyone else in the family gets hurt. Whatever he wants, he gets.

6. He gets away with everything he does.

7. He’s stupid.
He thinks reading and writing are stupid. Guess what. You’re alive because people learned to read and write. And it’s actually what makes you human. Scriptito ergo sum.

8. He’s a certified jEjE.

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